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There is no real secret to a perfect marriage. Marriage could
give you a glimpse of heaven in one side or as much of hell at
the others side. There is a famous wisdom saying where the
perfect marriage can only be found between a deaf and a blind
couple, because the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of his
wife, while the blind wife cannot see the shortcomings of her
husband.
Certainly, there are also those couples who are fortunate enough
to be soul mates. Being truthfully and totally in love with each
other is more than what most people could ask for in a
relationship. But even love
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Are You Stressed Out by Your Marriage?
You may remember when you saw your future mate for the first
time. Or you might remember the moment you realized that this
was the person you were destined to marry. Those memories are
special reminders of the excitement of a new relationship...of
the euphoria that comes when you have fallen in love. They're
moments that you'd like to cling to for the rest of your life.
Then, reality sets in. Perhaps it occurred during the first
month of your marriage. Or perhaps it happened within a year of
your betrothal. It might not have occurred until five years down
the road. In any case, you suddenly find yourself under a great
deal of stress and you trace the cause to your spouse. There may
be tensions over finances, tensions over the rearing of
children, tensions over where to live. At times, the friction
may seem frivolous--you might be engaged in a knock-down,
drag-out fight over who's responsible for the overflowing
toilet. Or you could have serious issues, such as a disagreement
on when to have a child.
While we would all like marriage to be a blissful experience,
the fact of the matter is that it is a situation ripe with
stress. There is the daily stress of simply trying to live
together in harmony, in addition to the occasional strains over
various disagreements. The tension can be magnified if you or
your loved one have just been diagnosed with cancer or a serious
heart condition. If your child has just been arrested for drug
possession, the tensions between the two of you can also
escalate.
Luckily, much of the stress within marriage is entirely
manageable. For instance, you can diffuse a great deal of
tension just by making a commitment to spend more time together.
A number of couples benefit from scheduling a "date night" when
they make sure that they spend a few hours alone. The date night
can include dinner, dancing, or just a walk in the woods. The
important thing is to simply re-connect, to re-discover all
those things that caused you to fall in love in the first place.
You might also find it helpful to engage in some recreational
activity together. Whether it's skiing, using nautilus
equipment, or bowling, exercise can be relaxing and can help you
to better manage your stress level. Exercise also allows you to
see your spouse in a different light--as a partner rather than a
competitor. In the end, you might find that you are both happier
and healthier as a result of exercise.
Another technique that can help you to handle marital stress is
to schedule a "couple's meeting" each week. This is a time set
aside for re-focusing on your priorities, to discuss any
problems that have come up during the week, and to plan ahead
for the coming week. At times, you might have disagreements
during such meetings. But the important thing is to communicate
and to do so consistently.
But what if your marital stress becomes unbearable? The
important thing is to keep the lines of communication open
between yourself and your spouse. But, if you still find
yourself to be under a great deal of stress, consider consulting
an outside party. For instance, you might try to schedule a
session with your pastor in order to hash out the differences
between yourself and your mate. Or you might consult a marriage
therapist who is an expert at helping to resolve differences
between spouses. You must recognize, however, that such sessions
require a great deal of work and emotional commitment. You
cannot expect to attend one session and have your stress go
away. It could take months before you are able to get your
marital stress under control.
Marital stress is serious business. If not dealt with
effectively, it can easily lead to divorce--a divorce you might
regret later on. Make a commitment to deal with marital stress
as soon as it appears. That way, you can work to ensure that
small problems do not lead to big ones, exacerbating your
stress. By following some simple steps, you can re-charge your
batteries, reduce your stress, and fall in love with your spouse
all over again.
About the author:
Tony Robinson is a husband, parent, webmaster and international
author. Leading a full and busy lifestyle he is fully aware of
the needs of a stress free life. For tips, techniques and
further information visit http://www.stress-gone.com
The buildup to the wedding is so exciting; making arrangements,
laying out a plan for your future lives together. But after the
honeymoon ends, life begins. And while you may have the most
wonderful marriage, even the most devoted couple is certain to
find the married lifestyle to be at times, well let's say, less
than exciting. I mean let's face it, you love the other person,
but spending all day with the same individual makes for a lot of
routine activities, that if you are not careful can drag on your
relationship and make you both feel unsatisfied with what is
otherwise a very loving relationship.
As
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Tony Robinson
Nez Perce County Idaho marriage records
It's easy to lose track of the important things when you are raising a family. It's hard enough to pay enough attention to your marriage when you have children; if you add working from home to the mix, it can become nearly impossible. Yet a strong marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.There are some simple ways to make sure your spouse knows how much he or she means to you, however. These tips won't solve all your problems, but they will help you to remember how much your spouse means to you. 1. Say
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Melissa Wallace of Camp Pendleton, California is a tall, wispy woman, with a soft voice and gentle smile. The wife of 25-years to a Sgt. Maj. in the Marine Corps, Melissa and her husband John talk wistfully about the life that is soon to be behind them, as Sgt. Maj. Wallace prepares for retirement. Melissa and John were married in 1976. Several years later, following the birth of their first son, John enlisted in the Marine Corps in hopes of finding a better life for his young family. Together the Wallace's have seen four states, two countries and added three
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